Thieving guinea pig allegedly stole passerby’s lettuce, was soon caught after leaving a trail of urine

According to the local police station at Pigceton, a young guinea pig by the name of Inna Cent had her lettuce stolen after a “boar in a handsome black mask” rushed by and grabbed the lettuce with his teeth. He immediately ran away, leaving a small but distinct trail of urine. Shortly after Inna called the police, the authorities arrived and arrested the boar. “Ur-ine trouble,” one officer said. When the mask was taken off, it was revealed that the burglar was in fact a rather large rat. The burglar then brandished an interestingly shaped gun, which was later uncovered to be a cucumber in a black pouch.

Young Inna was probably the most surprised at this, claiming that “the boar was so handsome and charming, I totally thought that he was a pig. He’s so dreamy.” Later, when her property was returned, she promptly ate the lettuce and stated that she was hungry and that good-looking pigs make her hungry. When reporters finally got a chance to ask her about how she felt after the rat was caught, she shrugged. “I like him. He seems really nice, and that smile…” She then trailed off and got a dreamy look in her eye. Nobody was able to talk to her since.

The burglar, who was identified as Ratty Touwee, was also interviewed. At first, he protested that it was a joke, and that the cucumber was meant as a snack for his beloved guinea pig. He then proceeded to fight the piglice officers that were restraining him, even biting one. When he was finally pinned down and handcuffed, he started screaming about his trail of urine and demanded to see his mommy. It was a fitting fate for such a dumb rat.

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– reported by journalist Ginny Pigg, a guinea pig

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