This year, the flu has been the worst in 30 years, according to Center of Disease Control guinea pig scientist Timothy Hayy. Already, many young and healthy guinea pigs and humans have been hospitalized due to the high infection rates and deadly symptoms.
“We never anticipated such a serious flu season,” says a worried Caramel, leading scientist for guinea pig relations. “Our flu vaccine estimates were way off.” Many people are urging them to try to battle the growing flu epidemic. However, there is nothing they can do for now. “There are many more weeks to come in this fierce, deadly, flu season,” says Caramel.
The Pu Flu, also known as the Stool Influenza, is most dangerous this year due to the fact that it can be transmitted from both pigs and humans. Many pet owners should be careful of spending too much time with their pet humans. There are no signs of the Pu Flu in the early stages of the virus, and the symptoms early on resemble the common flu.
When interviewing the god Hazel about these recent events, she was very concerned. “Guinea pigs are getting sick really quickly,” she states. “We have to do something about it, and also free them from their slave masters who give them the flu.” She also goes on to speak about her godly powers. “Sadly, I cannot do much to help all the sick guinea pigs. My power comes from my followers, but most of them do not worship me yet, so I can’t really do anything. Me and Ginger are trying to save as many as we can.”
Stay safe this flu season, pigs and humans alike. Make sure to check out Guinea Pigs News later to see new and interesting articles.
– Reported by journalist Ginny Pigg, a guinea pig
